A good friend of mine decided to share with me a picture with a fragment from a book which went something like this: “Your problem is that you keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual – but I don’t, because you’re you.”
When approaching the subject of one’s personality there are many things to keep in mind, because we are usually formed and influenced by the context in which we live in or we grew up in.
And yes, there are values and virtues that we develop. Habits that we can break and replace with better ones that lead to our growth, there are also some specific traits that makes us…well, us.
And I am referring to the unique traits. Allowing people to be themselves would mean from your side to stop any judgments about them or their point of view. To stop reading between the lines and see additional meanings where there aren’t any.
Try to consciously remember to allow people to be themselves, because you will also need that environment where you can be yourself. Keep your expectations rational and add the quality of freedom to your relationships, regardless if they are professional or personal.
So, where can we start?
By stop making assumptions. We all have different lenses which we use to understand the world so we may look at things from different angles. Therefore, don’t assume, talk!
Communicate and don’t set up unnecessary standards. Invest in your strengths, as usually if you make just one good habit (e.g. stop assuming) you will be able to break more of ‘not so good’ ones (e.g. stress caused by tensions between participants, anger, disappointment).
I should say; I am that person that is always late (but not the “bad late”). I am late, usually when there are events that can start without me and I am not disrupting the flow of the event, gathering, whatever it may be. I have gotten better at this, work in progress. 🙂
I have friends that are smart, witty, kind, funny, creative and the list could go on. At the same time, they have other shortcomings but that is ok, because they are them. And I like them.
So, focus on building trust and allow people to be themselves, even if they make mistakes. Do not expect people to be someone they are not.
“We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.” – Galileo Galilei
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